Wisdom and the Slow Redemption of All Things

This goes out to all my friends who have ever felt disqualified and disgraced.

For as long as I can remember, I have been attracted to Wisdom. It had always seemed beautiful and good and on the edge of unattainable.

I remember, even as a little girl, praying that I would grow into a wise person; although, I also remember admittedly not knowing what exactly that meant. But, after all, I only ever wanted to be more like God. (Or did I just want people to think I was like God? That is a question for another day.)

And then, life happened. When life happened, with all its trauma and shame and pain, the struggle to believe in my ability to embody certain characteristics increased exponentially. Wisdom rejected me, or I rejected it - as I was disgraced and disqualified from the dream of being wise. After all, those who are wise certainly have perfect and unstained lives free from sin, right?

A friend recently told me that although we may be externally broken, it is still possible to be internally whole. Some aspects of my external life cannot ever be fully recovered, but is it possible that there is an internal space of complete redemption?

Is it possible for even Wisdom to find me?

The dictionary says that wisdom is experience, knowledge, and good judgment. Alas, I have at times questioned my good judgment, but I am also reminded that those moments do not define me.

I am struck with the idea that wisdom is truly a different kind of knowing.

I know Grace.

I know Grief.

I know Growth.

I know Gratitude.

I know all of these things, oh so intimately.

When I prayed for wisdom, deep down I asked for a different kind of knowing . . . .

. . . a deep understanding of human nature, relationships, and the underlying principles that govern life;

. . . recognition of  the limits of my own knowledge and an openness to learning from different perspectives;

. . . a practical application of knowledge.

Perhaps within Grace, Grief, Growth, Grit, and Gratitude, Wisdom can be redeemed.

Wisdom calls me to make decisions based on spiritual truth, rather than worldly and religious values and reasoning.

Wisdom calls me to a deep connection with a higher power and with my inner self.

Wisdom is associated with compassion and humility, ethical living and kindness.

Wisdom allows me to grasp the underlying interconnectedness of all things and to seek the deeper meaning of all of life‘s experiences.

Wisdom is linked to a relationship with the Holy Spirit and is truly a gift from God.

Perhaps wisdom is possible.

Perhaps all of life can be redeemed.

Let it be so.