Blow Up or Glow Up: When Life Hits Hard

This goes out to all of my friends whose lives have blown up in one way or another, and you have kept on keeping on.

I use the phrase “kept on keeping on” a bit loosely, as this doesn’t look the same for any of us. At times, for me, this has looked like staying in hiding for long periods of time.  It has looked like screaming and crying in my car as loud and hard as I could to somehow get out the great depth of emotion and pain for which I have no words. It has looked like struggling to figure out what to do next or who to turn to.

It has also looked like getting out of bed everyday and taking another step, no matter how hard or uncertain it may be.

The other day, an acquaintance friend wrapped her arms around me and told me that she wanted me to know that she sees my “glow up” . . . That a notable glow up has taken place since the last time my life fell apart.

Although she didn’t go into great detail about what she means by that, I know what I feel in my spirit. It’s probably not so much about my physical appearance (as a little of that needs some extra attention!) but I do think my eyes are smiling again. Perhaps it is the energy that runs through my body, hope and confidence finding their place. Maybe it is that I invest hard and deep in places I live and work and play.

“This whole community sees it,” she said.

I want to keep glowing up, even when I’m tempted to blow up. Even still, many moments and days I am not sure how to keep on keeping on. The responsibilities and uncertainties of life often feel daunting. My inner narratives of shame and doubt creep in.

Maybe sometimes you feel this way too.

I am pursuing joy and gratitude and creativity as far as it depends on me. It’s all I know to do. I also know that living in the present will help me to choose a glow up, rather than a blow up.

“The past has no power to keep you from being present now.” (Eckhart Tolle)